Ten Courses, Ten Dates

“You’re not there to make friends,” Wes advised, citing a favorite cliche from The Bachelor and reality TV at large.  I had never attended a speed dating or other match-making type event before, and wasn’t sure about the level of interaction I should have with the other women there.  Sure, they were technically the competition, but I’m a friendly person.  In fact, I’m much more comfortable with friendly than with flirty.  Making a nice friend seemed like an attainable, albeit somewhat unproductive goal to have at the food snob speed dating event for which I’d signed up.

I read about the “ELevated Ideas in Love Connections” event on a local food blog.  While fine dining restaurants have long excelled at pairing their dishes with wine, the ever-innovating El Ideas decided to try its hand at a new challenge: pairing people.  The restaurant planned a ten-course dinner for ten men and ten women who would switch “dates” at each course.  The event promised plenty of wine.

I arrived at the spot on 14th Street just before 7 p.m.  A handful of young men and women were already gathered around the open kitchen, awkwardly watching and making quiet small talk as the chefs plated the first course.  

I removed my coat, accepted my first glass of cava, and scanned the room.  First impressions: wow, that chef is really hot.

After some introductions and formalities, I took a seat at my assigned table, and the dinner commenced.

***

grapefruit / hamachi / rice / curry

“Do you mind if I take a photo of the dish?” My initial dining partner asked.  “Not at all,” I responded, secretly judging him for being the type of person who photographs his food, but even more secretly wishing I could ask him to send me all the photos at the end of the dinner.

bacon / daikon / green strawberry / soba / roe

My second course was the person I’d stood near when I arrived, so we had chatted briefly before the meal began.  We’d gotten the basic questions out of the way: have you been here before? What’s your favorite restaurant in Chicago?  How many Avec dates do you think you could eat in one sitting?  Reaching, then, I mentioned the New York Times 36 Questions article that had made the social media rounds recently.  Surely he’d seen this?  He hadn’t.  Date #2 quietly and politely cut pieces of bacon-wrapped daikon as I explained the list of questions scientifically proven to make people fall in love.  Next time, I scolded myself, just talk about sports.

octopus / sesame / kiwi / salsify / chili

We talked about sports.  And the octopus dish before us, which was incredible.

shrimp & grits / popcorn / old bay

I surreptitiously took a bite of popcorn with my fingers before Chef Foss had finished his explanation of the dish.  “How’s the popcorn?” Date #4 asked.  I blushed.  We talked about sports.

french fries & ice cream / potato / leek / vanilla

I honestly don’t remember who sat across from me during this course.  This is not so much a reflection on the date but rather a testament to the dish, to losing myself in the fog of liquid nitrogen-laden vanilla ice cream rising from the bowl.  I’d like to do a backstroke in a pool of that potato-leek soup, to rest my weary head upon the crunchy pillow of fried spud.  I slurped this dish like no one was watching, though I believe my date was watching.

sweetbread / squash / black garlic / ip8

I made a “that’s what she said” joke, and it was a flop (that’s what she said. COME ON!).  A bottle of red wine appeared on our table.  Things started to get hazy.

black truffle / ham / and / cheese

Let me give you some background here: prior to this dish, because of a team nutrition and fitness challenge I’d been doing with friends, I hadn’t eaten any cheese in four weeks.  Four full fromage-free weeks.  It is safe to say that I blacked out at this course from pure ecstasy.  Also maybe the wine.

lamb / kale / onion / olive

“You know,” he said, slicing into the lamb, “They didn’t have enough guys, and had to ask some of us to fill in at the last minute.”  

(I recalled the time when I used to attend a Catholic Mass with my sister on Sunday early evenings.  One Sunday during the weekly announcements a member of the young professionals group stood to up to inform the congregation about a Catholic speed dating event to be held that week.  “We’re all set on female sign ups,” he told us, “but we still need twenty-five men to participate in the event.”  I stopped going to church shortly thereafter, though you ought not infer either correlation or causation.)

“I did not know,” I told Date #8.  But, based on that conversation alone, I guess it made sense.

blood orange / pistachio / dolce

You’re sweet, but not my style.  

take five / caramel / peanut / chocolate

He was a namesake to the boy who had recently broken my heart, and I despised him for it.  The chocolate, however, was a perfect match.

***

After the final course we gathered back around the kitchen for coffee and more drinks.  At one point I turned in toward the counter to refill my mug of decaf -- and to avoid the gaze of a hoverer nearby -- and made eye contact with another one of the women trying to do the very same.

“That chef is really hot,” she whispered.  We were instantly friends.  

I considered the night a success.